Do you ever feel like you are moving in circles? If so, then congratulations! You have just come across a major discovery. The bad news is that you are not just turning in circles regarding whatever situation you find yourself in right now. Not even in this whole lifetime. Nope, you have been turning in circles for countless of lifetimes over thousands of years. Bummer, right? But the good news is that you now know, so you can get off that carrousel ride before you get dizzy.
When I started traveling into past lives of mine, I often found myself caught in the very same situation that I am in today. I suddenly understood the madness of it all and how it was my pure ego with its fears that kept me from moving forward. And hey, just to make that clear... I'm not talking about one or two or three lifetimes. I'm talking about thousands of years of repetition of the same ol' story. It's actually quite impressive that we do not get bored of our own issues.
I suddenly understood how it was all just a game, and that this was just another time around. The only way to get off that ride was to face my fears. Not to abandon them, but to dive right into them.
The truth is that life won't ever stand still, meaning that if we do not move out of our fears, we move even further into them. Instead of moving in circles, what we really do is move on a spiral. And on this spiral we either travel up or down. By stepping out of our fears, we spiral upwards. By festering in our fears, we do not stand still but spiral downwards, diving deeper and deeper into our fears. That way, our fears become so unbearable that life leaves us hardly any other choice but to conquer them. It takes courage to do so, but when you hit rock bottom (and ideally long before you do so) grab that chance. The Universe is by your side, cheering you on all the way. It is so damn proud of you. It knows how hard life can appear down here on earth. And it knows that you are ready to deal with it. Otherwise, you wouldn't find yourself in this situation.
OVERCOMING IDENTIFICATION WITH THE EGO
Once I began to realize how long I had been stuck within my problems, I also began to understand that my problems didn't belong to me. They were attached to my false, created self; my ego with its fears. To let go of my fears meant letting go of my ego. I understood that running away from my fears was really a grown up version of hide and seek. The only trouble was that truth would always find me.
That's when I started praying. But I didn't pray for my fears to dissolve. I knew that there was no way around facing them. So I prayed for my fears to challenge me. Witnessing glimpses of past lives of mine, I became so tired of what I had labeled as my problems. I mean, real tired. Imagine seeing yourself stuck in the same ridiculous issues that you are facing today, as much as 2000 years ago. And we think that facing a problem is tough? Believe me, staying in it is absolutely masochistic.
So each night, before I went to sleep, I sat on my bed in a lotus seat and meditated. When I finished my meditation, I joined my hands in a prayer position right in front of my chest and spoke, "I understand how my problems are no more than my personal fears. I know that they are not real. They are here to protect my ego. I am now ready to let go of it. Please help me by confronting me with my deepest fears. I have been holding on to the illusion of their reality for too long. I now see the truth in it. I am ready. Don't hold back, no matter how hard this will appear for me. Help me to strip myself of anything that is not the real me. Namasté."
PLAYING WITH THE EGO
And it worked. I finally had the courage to jump head on into my major fears, challenging my ego anew each day. I decided to see my ego as a guest, as someone separate from my Self, and I began playing jokes on it. And as I did so, my fears dissolved - one after the other. The ironic thing about this is that once you have conquered a certain fear, you all of a sudden can't see the gravity or importance of it any longer. In fact, many previous problems suddenly seem laughable.
Seeing the reality behind an illusion does not mean that this illusion never existed. It only means that you perceived it as something it is not. When you start seeing the truth in your problems, you start seeing the insanity in it. In the end, many tragedies will reveal themselves as comedy.
One of my favorite quotes is by Charlie Chaplin. He said:
“Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot. To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it!”
Yes, play! That's the correct word. Don't take life too seriously. And most importantly, don't take yourself too seriously. You won't succeed that way, at least not the part which you believe to be the real you.
Life loves you. That's why it won't ever allow you to rest within your problems. It will confront you with them time and time again, until you - eventually - begin to love your Self too. When you begin to love the real you instead of the ego version of you. Because when you finally start a love affair with your true self, you won't allow anything to stand in your way of true happiness, which is known as bliss. Not even your ego.